I have commented on controversial issues on Facebook a handful of times in the past year. None has ended satisfyingly, though some have felt useful at some point. When I comment, I'm not picking a fight. I'm not even sharing my "side" on a subject, though I am treated as though I have and I dissented, which is fair since I haven't simply said, "Yeah, totally!" My views (like I would hope most peoples') are way too nuanced for Facebook, which is no place for nuance. Sound bites and oversimplifications win the day there. And often it really is only a day; the great river of new posts rolls ever on.
No, I don't bring my own ideas to the table. There's no point debating conclusions while we can't even agree on premises. My involvement is to address times: 1) the truth is being distorted beyond recognition, or 2) a sensible question or point is blasted as being ridiculous and unworthy of being entertained. I have asked people to at least consider where the other side is coming from instead of rejecting it outright. I would never attempt this in a random comments section, one full of strangers. That would be like, as Proverbs 26:17 puts it, grabbing a stray dog by the ears.* It's not my quarrel. My quarrel, I suppose, is against misinformation and unwarranted ridicule. When the original poster is a friend, someone I'd like to consider somewhat reasonable, and the lies have harmful implications for an important matter, I sometimes can't resist weighing in, hence, my comments.
I weigh in if only for the sake of readers who may believe they learned something from the original post; the idea that what they "learned" is false is so abhorrent to me that it's caused me to take risks that are perhaps foolish. If people are going to hate something, I desperately want it to be for the right reasons. If they have all the facts and conclude differently than me, that's their prerogative, but I can't bear to think that they're being fed a pack of lies and believing they're choosing wisely or rationally. I saw this quote the other day from a book I haven't yet read that accurately captures my concern: “A reliable way to make people believe in falsehoods is frequent repetition, because familiarity is not easily distinguished from truth. Authoritarian institutions and marketers have always known this fact.” --Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow. I don't know whether the quote would have an effect on others, but it hits me in the gut and then the tear ducts. We are surrounded by lies and finding the truth is hard work. Do people know this? Do they do that hard work? Or do they assume the truth doesn't matter, doesn't exist, or is equivalent to what they usually hear on a daily basis?
A friend pointed out that people often don't understand their own or the other person's premises, so that's why we have so many zero-sum conversations. I wish people would examine their premises. Here's an example: I once asked a young woman why she supported Planned Parenthood. She replied, "Because I respect women." Full stop. Funny, I respect women, too, and that's the exact reason I'm not a fan of theirs. It wasn't the time nor place (nor relationship, honestly) to go deeper on that particular topic, but it left me thinking that she's imbibed the cultural, broadly repeated, governmentally-sanctioned message that respect for women goes hand-in-hand with PP, without actually considering what respect means or looks like or independently examining how PP does or doesn't live up to the ideal of respect for women, men, children, law enforcement, etc.
My efforts to publicly dig deeper on Facebook are overall super unwelcome. I see glints of civility shining upon the lakes of hostility. Irritatingly, I am often attacked for things I didn't say. What a waste of time. More than once, I've sensed that someone didn't even read what I said, instead spotting a few keywords and launching into their own rote reply. I am concerned that "opponents" see my words and assume I am making things up. I endeavor not to be that irresponsible. I favor statistics, case studies, and informed testimonies. If I didn't honestly believe in the validity of what I was saying, based on evidence, I would consider it useless, even foolish, to dare to speak up at all, because I'd be afraid of being found out and invalidated. Sometimes it's not a matter of sharing truths I've learned, but simply of posing a question. A common reaction to valid questions in these settings is to treat them as invalid so as to say, "I'm not going to dignify that with a response." This tactic short-circuits learning and dialogue on both sides.
I've always wanted so much for people to not think I'm an idiot, but apparently I've finally found something for which I'm willing to stick my neck out. I'm not even at the phase of trying to defend Biblical truth or anything close to that, just basic truths about facts and logic and differing perspectives that will allow us to occupy the same space for long enough to actually interact instead of just screaming past one another at the height of emotion and disgust, with no common ground. The truth doesn't need to fear honest questions or true statistics, so I don't need to fear those things. If I'm honest and sincere with questions and answers, maybe I'll see a place I was wrong and get closer to the actual truth. The truth doesn't need to bully or cave to popular opinion. If I beat someone down with excellently-worded rebuttals, that doesn't make me more right. If I am the only person to say "X" in a 200-comment thread of people insisting, "Y," and patting each other on the back, that doesn't make me more wrong. The truth is unwelcome when conclusions have already been drawn, since truth has consequences and if it causes a chink in the armor of certainty, it could ruin it all. Integrity is a dangerous thing, because it means you can't promise unconditional loyalty to a group, person, or idea, however lucrative or popular.
To say commenting never, ever works is a huge oversimplification, I know. It works sometimes. Here and there, good things happen. Here and there, a commenter says I brought something new to their attention. Of course, there's always the quiet hope that an anonymous reader also got something out of it. I can't say whether it's all worth the cost I pay for it; I'd have no way to measure that. I don't even know if it's worth it for me. I suppose it must be; maybe I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I never even tried. From now on, whatever else happens, I'll always be able to say I tried. But I may find that I stick to blogging.
* Proverbs 26:17 (NIV) Like one who grabs a stray dog by the ears is someone who rushes into a quarrel not their own.
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