I've always loved words. One of the most difficult words for me to understand in my life was "agenda." I now wonder if this had to do with the guilelessness of children. There is the primary, straightforward definition of agenda: a list of things to talk about at a meeting. But there's a deeper meaning beneath, kind of like the word "agenda" has its own agenda. (Plus, British people have yet another meaning for the word!)
I define an agenda as someone's underlying purpose or desire, often hidden, something they want so badly they are willing to manipulate to achieve it. My definition is a mixture of the way I've heard it defined and the contexts and connotations I've heard around it.
I checked my definition against a few dictionaries'. Dictionary.com, my go-to word website, let me down here. They list only the plain definition, but their examples of use seem to refer to the secondary definition. I never would've understood the word if I'd relied on this site. The second Merriam Webster definition is closest to my understanding: "a plan or goal that guides someone's behavior and is often kept secret." Oxford dictionaries does define it as, "the underlying intentions or motives of a particular person or group," but this definition doesn't get its own number; it's the third bullet point under 1. a list of items to be discussed at a formal meeting. I was amused; apparently, the underlying purpose (agenda) of the word "agenda" is itself slippery, omitted or buried in bullet points.
The word "agenda" has come to my mind often as I seek to understand life ("Why on earth would someone act like that? What is the benefit of this new law? Why would the characters on this TV show behave in such an unrealistic manner that does not serve to advance the plot?") and discover that everyone really does have an agenda, often an agenda to influence others. It can be hard to live and let live. I often think I know what's best for others, yet get annoyed when they think they know what's best for me. Growing up, I believed the government was a benevolent organization with everyone's best interests in mind and no reason to mislead anyone. There's that childlike guilelessness, right? Maybe that's the ideal of a government, but then actual humans step into power with their flaws and personal motivations and ability to be swayed and it's nothing more than a dream.
All humans, at some point, have needs and wants that we can fill or leave empty and have agendas to meet those wants or needs. It's a free and enlightened person who has been able to let go of the agendas and embrace life as it is. We see this in obvious places - people seek money or power and need our paycheck or our vote and do or say what they think they need to to get it from us. In more subtle places, too: "informational" websites that seek to present opinion as fact, or TV shows that tell irresponsibly unrealistic stories (random example: the actors on Grey's Anatomy have admitted that the show's portrayal of sex is ridiculously unrealistic; as adults, this may not be as big of a deal, but when kids or teenagers see lies convincingly presented as truth, especially with regards to casual sex, it can harm them profoundly) either to score higher ratings or promote a certain worldview. Even familial relations are not free of agendas: a parent may want their child to make them proud in front of their friends.
I submit that God is the only person who doesn't have an agenda. Some have the exact opposite understanding, thinking He has an agenda for everyone and is the ultimate control freak. This is clearly not the case: if a benevolent omnipotent being insisted on total control of everything all the time, we wouldn't see any rape, abuse, hunger, or poverty. Because God allows people to make their own choices, for better or for worse, the ugliness in human hearts and choices is revealed and we find ourselves in a broken world. Yet if we were micromanaged at the behavior level, love could not exist, either.
God is 100% exactly who He is, 100% of the time, with no apologies. He treats us the way He does because He wants to and never because He has to. His endless, boundless love is completely a function of His character, uninfluenced by outside pressures. God is free from the need or even the desire to impress others. He doesn't need anything else from us either, so there is no way we can manipulate Him into anything or make Him feel differently towards us. Because He can handle the brunt of our choices, we are truly free. Again, this is evidenced by the very existence of free will. For God to mandate how free will should be exercised is a contradiction of terms. Of course He wants us to love Him, and love others, but clearly He doesn't make us. He knows that love cannot be forced, only chosen or rejected. He, who actually knows what's best for us, is one of the only people to not get frustrated or withhold love when we make poor decisions.
On the other hand, I think the enemy of our souls has tons of agendas for us. There are myriad ways we can end up miserable, broken, and alone, and to the enemy any one of them will do. Manipulation and lies are satan's main tools, and unfortunately I think he profits a lot by piggybacking off the agendas of misguided humans and organizations. It can really stress me out to think about this.
That is why I love to run to God as a baseline in a world crammed with pushing and pulling in every direction. I have great friends and I don't usually feel bowled-over by their agendas. But as soon as I go on Facebook or read articles online or watch TV or hear the nation's news through any medium I feel like there is so much that people want me to believe and endorse or act on, and it gets overwhelming fast. I am sure the truth is buried beneath this clamor, sure that no one's agenda aligns with it exactly, not even my own, though it's as close as I've been able to make it. For that matter, I am sure there is truth, which is sometimes treated like an arrogant statement, but that's a post for another time.
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