Don't put Happiness on Hold

I'm rereading my new favorite book series (at least until I reread Harry Potter, probably) and it's just as much fun as the first time through. I rushed my first reading, I think because I wanted to see what was going to happen with the (very understated but awesome) love story. I admit that mattered more to me than the other huge happenings that affected more characters and defined the main plotline. Not that that says a lot about me or anything.

My second readthrough is also amazing, but it's different. I'm struck by plenty of foreshadowing and details I missed the first time through. Things I didn't think mattered at all became super important in light of the eventual conclusion. There were clues sprinkled all throughout the books that I didn't have the proper perspective or patience to pick up on before. I was too distracted by pressing ahead to see how things would turn out.

Knowing the ending doesn't make me appreciate the story less; it gives me hope for the hard times. When something terrible happens, I can tell myself, "it's all gonna be okay." I can enjoy the time I have with the characters, knowing some of them die. I can appreciate the richness of a friendship before betrayal enters the picture. I know good wins, even when all seems to be lost.

I liken my first readthrough to my natural (fleshly, in Christianese) inclination to live quickly and impatiently rush through boredom to juicier things; in other words, how I've lived most of my life. In this mindset, waiting to get what I want seems a mistake: something to be endured, not enjoyed. My second readthrough more resembles living with a redeemed mind and eternity in view. This unhurried state is relatively new to me and feels a million times better.

Though many of my hopes for my life have yet to materialize, I've realized I don't have to wait to be thankful, and I don't have to get upset when the road seems to turn the opposite direction. It's as simple as imagining how I hope to feel when my dreams come true and allowing myself to feel that right now, no strings attached. Why should I put my excitement on hold? It could be years... time wasted or dissipated into other emotions besides gratitude, excitement and joy. I see no reason to wait. If my dreams do not come to pass, then I've at least lived several extra years with positive emotion. And this isn't just wishful thinking or fantasy; as a child of God, called according to His purposes, I know for sure something good is coming for me.

I think this is what Paul meant when he wrote that "we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame," (Romans 5:2b-5a) I think boredom or waiting can be considered a form of suffering, but we can still be totally okay with them, knowing what's coming. And I think the last verse means we won't regret hope or be embarrassed we hoped, both because God's promises are true and Jesus is actually coming back and because hoping is an honorable and positive thing, whether or not life turns out the way we expected it to.

As a sidebar, I also find that trusting my path is headed for good releases me from feeling envious of my friends (most of the time!). I can honestly celebrate with those who celebrate, seeing each success story as proof that success keeps coming for us all one by one, rather than thinking there's a success pie that's shrinking as it's served up and if I don't get my slice soon I'll starve.

In my head I've been calling this mindset "preemptive gratitude," though "faith" and "trust" would both work well. The Bible calls it hope a few times. Romans 8:24b-25 says that "hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Hope is good (duh), but it's not possible to hope for what we have. Earthly life is our one chance to love God by trusting Him and believing in His promises even though we can't yet see the outcome. When our earthly lives are through, our faith (our hope) will be turned to sight. Living in a world that's still broken provides our only chance at hope. And by the way, what is more majestic: a light shining in broad daylight or a light that shines in darkness?

Christ-followers know good wins in the end. This is why celebration and dancing and feasting are all appropriate even in this world full of crime and hate and poverty, why we say of God, "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies." (Psalm 23:5a) This verse closely relates to enjoying and savoring my book because I know for sure that the very real and dangerous threats from the enemy won't derail the ultimate mission. Joy isn't insensitive or thoughtless; it's acknowledging a deeper truth. We're all free to ease up on the breakneck pace and enter fully into our lives, secure in a good ending. We can delight in each twist and turn of the story without rushing or despairing. We can celebrate the happy ending right now and let it inform all our choices until it gets here. We don't have to wait to be glad it all turns out well: we can celebrate that truth today, in whatever city and life station we presently find ourselves.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." (Hebrews 10:23) Let's enjoy the benefits of hope now, despite obstacles, because we can, and because the author of the story of humanity and the world is trustworthy and has promised us a good ending.

Why I might not be a Christian

Peace. Liberty. Justice.

I imagine these words would make good priorities for a country. But any motto of this format should be able to be replaced with "People. People. People." If a human is crushed or pushed aside in the pursuit of a principle or ideal, no matter how noble, the cost has become too high. That's why in the land of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness," (even though we don't live up to defending all those things) there are nevertheless restrictions on behaviors like murder and rape and unsafe driving.

The rest of this post could make it sound like I think principles are a most terrible evil. I have some harsh words about them. I thought of Jesus' words in Luke 14:26: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even their own life--such a person cannot be my disciple." We don't take this to mean literal hate. It's interpreted to mean, "you rightly love these people who are close to you, but even that incredibly close love you have for them should be so much less than your love for me that it seems like hate in comparison." Similarly, if I sound like I hate principles, it's not that they are inherently awful, it’s only because they should be such a lower priority than loving humans where they're at.

"Principles are what people have instead of God. To be a Christian means among other things to be willing if necessary to sacrifice even your highest principles for God's or your neighbor's sake the way a Christian pacifist must be willing to pick up a baseball bat if there's no other way to stop a man from savagely beating a child. Jesus didn't forgive his executioners on principle but because in some unimaginable way he was able to love them." - Frederick Buechner

I agree. Many people have principles instead of God, but I believe it’s most damaging when the principles are “Christian,” because that hinders access to the gospel message. It’s like a vaccine: if someone gets a small, unpleasant dose of something mislabeled as Christianity, they may recoil in disgust and reject the real thing for decades, misinformed about what they’re avoiding.

This week I asked someone to define what they think Christianity means and they said it's a belief system. I get why someone would say this. It sounds right. Heck, it's on Wikipedia. I checked and I think the Wikipedia definition of Christianity as a belief system is wrong. Or maybe it isn't, and I'm just not a Christian. The Bible doesn't use the word "Christian." The Bible mentions believers and disciples and friends of Jesus. The Biblical call of God is not primarily to mentally agree with concepts. It’s to live relying on God, to have a living, present-tense relationship with Jesus, the Christ. Maybe it’s a semantics thing. Before the 16th century, the word “believe” meant to rely on something. After that time, the word referred to mental assent, the definition it’s retained to this day. If you aren’t a big history buff, I remind you that the Bible contains multiple exhortations to believe and was written before the 16th century.

I call myself a Christian, and it's not primarily because I mentally check off certain boxes next to phrases like, "believes that Jesus was the son of God" (though I do check off that box, with a strike through "was," with "is" scribbled above it). It’s because I know Christ is my friend, even though my political views often differ from others who call themselves Christians. I guess I use the word as a shorthand. It can easily be misinterpreted, but I know of no better. It’s like when I say I eat “Paleo.” I don’t love all the baggage and potential misinformation that comes with the term, but I don’t always have 20 minutes to qualify whenever I share this about my life choices.

A few weeks ago I read Lecrae's autobiography, Unashamed. He ends it with a great section about Christianity and art. He writes, "There is no such thing as Christian rap and secular rap. Only people can become Christians. Music can't accept Jesus into its heart." Values can't accept Jesus into their hearts. I think again of the non-violent believer mentioned earlier who may have to grab a baseball bat and jump into the fray if a vulnerable little human is at stake. Shakespeare said, "there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Close: not human thinking, but divine leading, would make it so. And yes, I believe there are bad acts Jesus would never call someone to do. But the vast majority of human life exists in a grayer area, as the Bible illustrates.

I know of an organization that recently changed its vision statement from "Christ-centered" to "Christian values." With this change, I no longer think the word "ministry" applies to their work. I understand "ministry" to mean a group of people doing the work of God, serving Him by following His guidance to serve people. Not spreading a value system. You don’t even have to be a Christian to promote “Christian values.” Jesus didn't die to save values. Jesus doesn't love and cherish values and desire to see values reach their fullest potential. We don't need Jesus’ help if the task is promoting our values. People of all religions already try to impose their values on others, and that's not working out so hot. Never has.

Claiming to be a Christian, but never taking crazy risks in faith or seeking God’s help, is functional atheism, regardless of how many so-called Christian values you espouse. Christianity, being a Christ-follower, is having a relationship with God in which you grow in joy and hope and strength, all while blessing others, spreading love and truth, and reconciling the world to God. Principles, morality, and values can be really good and can help along this path, but as Buechner points out, you must be willing to drop them if circumstance calls for it. If Christianity is only a system of law codes, it's no different than any other religion or government. The world doesn’t need another system. Christianity is about relationship. What sets it apart is that our God is alive and at work in the world today, and He listens to and talks to us all the time.

Unlike proponents of squeaky-clean, buttoned-up, no-dancing-cards-movies-or-drinking "Christian living," the people who follow Jesus look real crazy. When the Holy Spirit first came to the Christ-followers, there was "a sound like the blowing of a violent wind... all of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them... Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, 'What does this mean?' Some, however, made fun of them and said, 'They have had too much wine.'" (Acts 2:2a, 4, 12-13) I love that Peter stands up to address the gathered crowd, which includes Jews and others in Jerusalem, and says, "These people are not drunk, as you suppose. It's only nine in the morning!" (Acts 2:15). Do you think that getting extremely drunk, or even appearing to, at 9 am in public is a "Christian" thing to do? I would say not, I would say most churches, pastors, judgers would advise against it, claim it's "not of the Lord." But it's obviously something a Christ-follower would and does do if circumstances warrant it. The Bible is full of such examples. Jesus himself was accused of not being religious enough, and was not liked (an understatement) by religious leaders of His day.

My blog is called "Sailing by the Stars" because you cannot determine a course across the ocean without making necessary adjustments from time to time. Once your life experience has surpassed the dry land of naïve certainty, a lot of forces blow your ship in different directions. You have to look up to heaven for what to do, react to the situation around you at each moment as it is, not as it used to be or as you wish it were. A map isn’t enough in those moments. A plan can’t account for all contingencies.

No map? No plan? How do you read the stars? Pray. Ask, "Jesus, does this path honor you? How can I best follow you?" Then listen. Don't forget you asked a question (I do this too often) and look for an answer. He may or may not reply in the next 5 seconds, because He's a person, not a computer, but He won't hide the answer either, if you really care to know it. The Bible is full of stories and advice that can help you figure it out, but every situation is different. That's part of why the resurrection was so important. If Jesus were dead today, He wouldn't have offered us more than we could come up with on our own. The Holy Spirit’s guidance is more like a GPS than a map, but instead of a detached robot voice, He speaks in the encouraging voice of a loving friend, partner, companion, parent... the Bible mixes metaphors to illustrate the depth of His love for you.

Jesus did say He came not to abolish the law, but to fulfill it. He wasn't wholly rejecting values put forth in the Old Testament. Again, values are not inherently bad. But those laws were clearly insufficient if He had to come in person to complete them. “In person”: did you catch that?